Titel
Impressum
NOTE ON THE TEXT:
A message of thanks to my helpers that assisted me throughout the process of creating this book:
Forward
OUT OF LOVE TO YOU ALL
About Me
My Life History and the Way to and with the Angels
My First Contact with Universal Energy
How the Spiritual World Trained Me and How God Tested Me
Everything Began to Change
When I Had to Go Up
When the Angels Went with Me on the Bus
When God Imposed a Second Test
I Began to Doubt
When I Wanted to Give up
The Day of the Souls
The Day When I Had to Go to My Student
The Separation from My Partner
When the Angels Helped Me to Find a New Apartment
I lived Through A Lot Again
My Openness for an Old Friend Who Is Also a Medium and What Happened There
The Inner Child
I Left Again
What is Reiki?
My New Path to Angel Therapy
Attunement to the Angel World, Part 1
The Rip-off from a False Medium
The Healing Prayer
What You Have to Know
Angel Stories for Children to Dream
A Small Angel Who Wanted to Go to Earth
A Friendship that Was Put to the Test
A Happy Ending with Samuel and Sophie
A Short Meditation Suitable for all Worries to Practice in Order to Tune in Better with The Angels
The First Exercise
How I Can Quickly Cleanse My Chakras
Here is a Small Preliminary Exercise
Listening Exercise
Having a Relationship
Communicating with the Angels
Explanation of Past-life Regression
Recognize Auras
Explanation of Karma Threads
Spiritual Guides, Angels or the Deceased
How Long Does Healing Take?
Distance Healing
Now I Come to The Solving of Problems, God’s Secret and What Normally Everyone Has within Them, but Has Forgotten
Body – the same: Doing or acting, using the body as a tool
Here is a list:
How God Imagines Our Lives and How People Will Live in the Future
Resolving Disputes
Prejudices and Judging of a Person or Object
Natural Beings that Live with You
The Admonition of Archangel Michael
Exercise for You and Your Soul
Money
The Evil Look
Instructions for out of Body Experiences in the State of Consciousness
The Second Possibility
Archangels
My First Distance Training
A True Story from My Student Andrea: The First Day She Learned from Me through Written Instructions
One more note regarding our contact details:
An Easy-to-learn Textbook for Hearing the Angels
Afterword
Text, Website Translations & Online Marketing Consulting
Mathias Stumpf
HEALING, ETERNAL LIFE AND SEEING THE LIGHT
Exercises for contacting the hereafter
DeBehr
Copyright by: Mathias Stumpf
Editor: Verlag DeBehr, Radeberg
First Edition: 2018
ISBN: 9783957535801
Graphics Copyright by Fotolia by starblue, fluenta
NOTE ON THE TEXT:
I have gathered exercises and methods for people who are genuinely interested in working with the spiritual world. This does not take the place of a doctor, therapist or naturopath. The healing is successful solely based upon your trust and faith.
A message of thanks to my helpers that assisted me throughout the process of creating this book:
An especially big thank you goes to my former student Andrea (named changed), because without her, this book would not exist. The angels continually worked on it and Andrea often gave tips.
A special thanks to my favorite students and friends that always helped me with my writing, including God, Archangels and all others from the spiritual world, as well as and especially my best friend Barbara.
Forward
This book involves God, Archangels, angels, and other spiritual beings.
My way of getting there was very difficult and complicated; it began in my childhood. I know that many people have gone through or are going through ordeals. Why this suffering happens on Earth and is not going towards an end is what I explain in this book.
This book shows the path to healing of both myself and some of my students. This book should encourage you to believe more in the spiritual world, increase your faith in yourself, provide strengthened hope in life situations and open your eyes. Because only then can the angels increasingly enter into your life and begin to help you more and more in order to put your worries behind you. Humanity has continually been asking themselves for thousands of years such questions like “why am I here?” and “what is the point of my life?” Here and now, you are experiencing what you are. God assigned me with the task of showing others the way to Him so that they can recognize who and what they truly are in order to bring all the pain and suffering in the world to an end. I am writing here in many words that are coming from God and it is all the truth. There is and will of course be critics, those who doubt everything. But I am prepared for all of that. Believe it or not. I can’t really prove it. Because God says, that he will never send proof. The only proof that God and I can give you is: see what is happening to you. Set your sights on how everything is going. Everything that is happening around or within your is created through your own thinking. It has been very clear that I will receive criticism. I can only say again that everything is honest and has actually occurred.
Many think that here on Earth they have a given task or have to do something in particular that they experience or learn. I don’t know who reported this, but it’s not the case. God says that we are all here in order to experience what we, through our thoughts, can create and through this, live.
I have travelled to the afterlife. I call it this because many people understand or have seen it. It is actually a trip through the heavens and to God. In the following pages, I recount how I came to this trip through the heavens and what God and the angels taught me over the years. What I can reveal is that eventually will stand before God. I had to learn a lot all these years and endured a lot of pain and suffering until a few months ago. This served my experience level and helped me to become complete. Through this, my knowledge for people and souls grew. And through this, I can help people to heal and make possible a path to God. I know exactly why and where you currently are. I know that some people would rather live in their own way. But God, our Father, tells us something different and I as well as some forms of media around the world also say something different. God revealed a secret that all people should know. He has been telling it for thousands of years. But people have never listened. In the following pages, I will clarify piece by piece in such a manner that a child could even understand.
Here, I will my life story and give you other concrete examples for exactly how to see or hear angels. Listening, in my experience, is always there first, whereas seeing arises in the mind. If you understand the angels, then seeing will come completely on its own. The angels say that it is extremely important that you read through book through to the end. Read it intensively, sentence by sentence, and only once you have read everything, you will also understand what this book and the angels and doing with you. After this, you will understand everything that’s important and you will recognize healing. And when you have the trust and faith that healing works, you will also experience it for yourself.
I have very wonderful students that have learned and worked with my learning exercises. They have had very good experiences and, in this book, I have provided a few of the best examples.
It is the greatest gift when I always hear that they are able to communicate with the spiritual world and have learned trust, that they are grown up and understand why they are here and that all of their problems have been solved.
On some pages, I repeat myself often. This makes sense because for some exercises, it makes them more understandable. I have lived through my whole life again, but I also had some nice days as a child. But many circumstances I have not included because I am not allowed to tell too much about my family. However, I can say that I have experience a great deal of healing and now want to show you how everyone can be healed by the angels. In addition, I will also show you, dear reader, that you can have everything in your life that you’ve ever wished for.
Those that can control their thoughts come ever closer to being able to change their whole lives. You know why you are here; you understand why there are illnesses that you have learned to manifest. Everything that you wish for, you can get for yourself; you only have to want it. After these exercises, some have become healers or oriented their careers around such, or even just simply have done something for themselves. Everything that you do is important. You will have an advisor, an angel, or a spirit guide that is always on your side. Through this, you will live through a experiential process here on Earth and only then can you change it or continue on. Always keep in mind what you have learned, and it will help simplify to finding the right path. Every day, I work with the spiritual world and every day, I experience new things and new things occur that I cannot write here. It just wouldn’t work for a book. Please believe in yourself. Believe in what you want and believe that you are never alone. That which you believe will come in your life!
Here I write an original text that my student, Andrea, who like me was trained by the angels as a medium and healer, has been dictated by the angels. We have been 100% cured. And we would like to share this knowledge so that you always stay healthy and believe in the spiritual world, and above all, yourself.
A new textbook also for students!
Dear teachers, students, and parents,
This book was written to once again believe in angels, and also to trust ourselves more. Having faith in this is very important! Without faith and trust, nothing happens. So take this book to heart; read it and try the exercises. It makes sense when you have: faith, trust, and love!
Everything that’s in this book is nothing but the absolute truth.
We, the spiritual world, Mathias and his former students, want this book to open your eyes in order to once again to believe in angels, God, the Father, and Mother Earth. This is not an ordinary textbook, as we know it from school!
Also you, dear headmasters and principals, as well as teachers, students and parents, can reap the profits.
In any case, it is important, that this book is read from the beginning to the last page, so that you can understand. This is very important for this book. You have to read it carefully!
When questions come up, ask your teachers and then can contact Mathias or Andrea. Or see the website www.ichbinheil-engel.de (for questions for Andrea, I will pass on the requests). There, your questions will be answered.
In this world, there are many children and adolescents that have gone through difficult times or are currently stuck in a bad situation. And exactly this is what this book was created for: so that young students also begin to walk with you and find faith in us, the spiritual world, and again, to be healed.
It’s very important, especially for our children, who are living here and now! They have to be woken up! They are the ones that can change the world. This book creates the beginning. Therefore, read it; try to understand it and bring love into the world so that everyone is involved in saving the Earth and the heavens.
OUT OF LOVE TO YOU ALL
THE SPIRITUAL WORLD
Archangel Michael
Archangel Metatron
Archangel Gabriel
Archangel Raphael
Archangel Chamuel
Archangel Uriel
Archangel Mother Sophia
And the new angels in the kingdom of heaven and on Earth!
We dedicate our thanks to all of them!
Out of love, Samuel
About Me
I was born on November 3rd 1968 in a small town near Lüneberg, Germany. If you don’t know Lüneberg, it’s near to Hamburg. I already knew before my birth what was expected of me here since I went through it with my spirit guides. Here on Earth, we have multiple angels and spirit guides on our side. This spirit guide will go through the life you want to live on earth before you are born. You yourself are then that which life with all of its difficulties has chosen; every soul is chosen to experience what they would like. Be it pain, suffering, grief or happiness etc.…. Everything that happens on Earth is what people do themselves. People make God at fault for everything, although He Himself is not allowed to intervene. You all have decided together that God gave you a gift, which he calls free will. Nobody is allowed to intervene, but he also gave you an angel who takes care of you. If you would like to restrict your free will, then you need to ask the heavenly helpers. Otherwise they only intervene when your life is in danger and are about to lose your life. Your spirit guide watches out that you are able to complete the tasks and go the way that you have chosen, and it gives advice when you are unsure. Sometimes your way is very painful, but you wanted to have it this way. That serves toward the development of your soul. At the end, you come closer to your goal and live in eternal happiness when you have achieved everything. You can also put an end to your suffering. You only have to understand why it is this way. For example, when someone that you know is currently living in fear. Have you experience what it’s like to live in fear and to someone how a way out? Then you understand this person and can help them because you yourself have the experience.
And so it goes with everything that you experience. Your soul also experiences it, bringing you much further in your next life. The decomposition of yourself is also easier when you change your thoughts and create something new. We will come back to that later in more detail. In the spiritual world, people don’t know pain or suffering, but rather only love. Of course, people don’t understand why they have to experience pain or other suffering. The majority of people that are reading here will only understand later what I mean. In the following pages, I go into this in more detail. Overall, many of you don’t know who you are, are constantly asking for the meaning of life. I always have to laugh because now I know exactly what, why and how. But at the time, it wasn’t any different. Up to a certain age, I didn’t know who I am and what I am supposed to do on Earth. I met a few angels already as a child but didn’t know where to begin. Most of it I forgot immediately, or they took the memories. The spiritual world only came to me piece by piece up until one day where I began to be trained for the rest of my life. I went my own way before the spiritual world approached me. But then I learned Reiki; I learned quantum physics. Then I met the world of angels and for me, that was the best part of it that I was allowed to get to know, with only a few exceptions that I will report back on later. I learned healing and to see and hear again, with every one of them continuing onward from time immemorial. God once said to me that I could be better, but I had never realized it. Furthermore, everyone can be better, God said. People just don’t use it.
Now I have been giving seminars for years and teach it to my students. I also provide wonderful angel meditations. The subjects come to me that are already really good, but the angels send them to me anyways, so they can learn even more. That makes me happy and the best part is that I can see how far they are developing. How great is that that they suddenly see everything that wasn’t there before. Of course, every medium (medium means to communicate with the spiritual world) continually develops and I also learn more and more every day.
With this book, I would like to show you that you can do everything. You are perfect; you just don’t know more than that. The instructions that I will show here, I give here as a support together with the angels and God. It is in this time that everyone has the right to find this wonderful light that we all come from and to work and live in happiness. The angels and I both want you always to remember what you could already do as a child, what you are; you especially are so wonderful and full of amazing abilities. But unfortunately, you have forgotten everything that was given to you. We want to help you to find this again, how everything was made especially for you. You will be completely healed so that you can heal others and of course also become happier and speak to the world with your light. Every person and every being on earth has the light in them; everyone has inner powers that they can use. Everything that you think, you take on. Negativity brings about negativity, so always think positively and happiness and fulfillment will come to you. But I will say more to this in the following pages. You will be surprised how easy it is to go about life as you know it from fairytales, but here I am not writing about it like this; that is a promise.
All beings on this Earth will undergo a great change. A new time of heavenly energy, that every person has in themselves, will be awoken.
Many people will be awakened. People will recognize who they are and what love is. There are many things on Earth that are spiritual helpers here on Earth. There are singers, people who have written books, unfortunately also incorrect ones that would like to bring you to the dark side. The media on TV and in newspapers report lies. But since 2012, the great change, the great awakening of your being, who and what you are, has begun. We help you to endure the ascent to the light a little easier. We show you how you can recognize the light within yourself and achieve everything that you never thought possible before. You have to learn to believe again. Believe in God; He really exists and He is everywhere, sees everything; He is in you and He also talks to me; Andrea and I talk almost daily with God. We also speak to the angels daily, for the whole day, the same as when we speak to other people. We talk to them without thoughts, loud and clear. With speak with all spiritual beings, the fairies and elves as well as gnomes that look like dwarfs. They are in all plants and trees; I swear under God, this is the truth. You will learn to hear the voice of God.
The angels will stand by your side. I am sure that 90% of all readers who are performing these exercises correctly and permanently will feel the success and will hear the voices of the angels and God's voice. This is the true love that everyone is searching for. God, Archangel Michael, and all of the other Archangels told me that I should write this book. The angels said that I am sent from God to show and bring the light to you all and to accompany you to the transition to the new world. There was a time where I didn’t want to write this book. I simply wasn’t interested in writing a book as such in which many already exist. But when I finished the book on the third try, I realized that it was actually different than the books I already knew. I knew of many books about the spiritual world and some I felt very doubtful about. However, now I know all that all are true. Everyone works differently with the light and everything is correct. Even now when I am writing this book, they are helping me. This book is full of energy. The angels say that whosoever takes this book to heart will be connected with them, so please believe in yourself…
My Life History and the Way to and with the Angels
Most of my memories I got back from my mother, because I had a difficult childhood and it was unsettling for me.
I was about 4 years old and I can think back up to there. It was often really loud at home; we were 7 children, actually 9. Two of my siblings died as babies. At the time, it was normal to have such a big family, at least the ones that I knew of so for me it was normal.
I also have a twin sister that I was very close with as a child. We always went hand in hand to school. We always suffered when one of us wasn’t doing well. In addition, we had a companion among us all the time; the companion was called fear. There was always one man that everyone was afraid of; he was often loud and screamed about. I was always afraid, afraid that something would happen to us at home. This male voice accompanied me through the years up to adulthood. My mother told me later that the man threw my twin sister and I in another room because we cried as babies. She also told me how he kicked her in the stomach multiple times when she was pregnant.
In the nights I often woke up due to the screams; it was so terrible for me that sometimes I couldn’t breathe so as not to attract attention. We had a multi-story house; my nursery was upstairs on the second floor.
I shared this room with two of my siblings, with my twin sister and my younger sister.
I was 5 years old so I wasn’t yet in school. One of the nights was very loud. I climbed out of my bunkbed and went up the stairs so I could easily look through the stairwell. There I saw the man. He was drunk and was screaming about. It made me scared, scared for my mother. I heard her say “ow” and “stop it”. My mother often ran out of the house and I looked out the window to see her running away. I would cry a lot, I thought, if she ran away and never came back. Today she tells me that she first came back when this man was asleep. I went to bed again; it was late at night. I stayed awake a long time, or at least tried, to stay awake so that I could hear when my mother came back. I left my door wide open and listened to the silence of the night. Every little noise made me jump. My heart raced so fast that I could hear it myself. Again and again I held my breath so as not to be heard, even though I was two stories up, but it made my heart beat even louder. I was simply too afraid and most of the time was paralyzed to do anything or cry. Everyone in the house knew what was happening, but no one talked about it. This was repeated again and again at greater intervals, so it already became a big part of my life. It continued like this for years. The man came home from work drunk again and there was no one in the house but me. We had a dog. I loved this dog more than anything. He grew up with me and I always understood him when he wanted something. It was a dachshund. I was sitting on the couch. It was too late to leave the living room; normally I ran upstairs to my room, when I saw the man already from far away, before he even came into the house. I didn’t dare move. The man came into the living room and sat down next to me on the couch. He said nothing, grabbed the dog and tied a tie around his neck and pulled him up in the air. I was completely paralyzed. I was so afraid for my dog that it seemed to me that time had stopped. Now my dog is dead, I thought because he was no longer moving. I gathered up all of my courage and yelled loudly “Stop!!!” And immediately the man stopped. The man leg the dog go and wickedly. I took my dog and went up stairs to my room. My dog was so traumatized by this that he came to my room every night and went under the blanket at my feet. I never told anyone to avoid an argument. As a child I thought about everything and tried to understand why everything is the way it is. I also contemplated a lot about myself and the world. Why is the world like this? I also thought about my body. But I never came to a conclusion. Sometimes when I was outside with friends, which I gladly did, I envied the other children. They had a good male figure at home. I didn’t tell anyone how it was at home for me. I was so ashamed to take other children home with me. This man was also loud at home when others were there, but most people didn’t know what was happening and they never said anything about it.
It was the weekend; we had a BBQ nearly every Saturday, with chicken and homemade fries. For us children this was always a lovely experience to get grilled chicken. Everyone wanted to have the legs, but despite this, everyone was satisfied when they got something else. I was about 6 years old and was sitting at the table behind the man with his back turned to me. He roared, I heard them arguing again. By his voice I recognized that he was drunk again. Suddenly, a kitchen chair next to me was struck directly on the table and broke into several pieces. A piece of the chair flew directly by my head. I was frightened and continued to eat without moving. I ate, almost without chewing, my hunger was quickly gone, and yet I swallowed it. When there was another bang, I looked around and saw the man had thrown the grilled chicken on the floor. All the fat from the chicken was strewn about in the kitchen. I stood up and just went to my room and hid myself in my bed. Then it got really loud due to the fighting, but the man then fell asleep relatively quickly. And then I knew, it will be calm until the next day.
As a child, I was often sick. When I was sick, every time I heard a voice in my head, but it was not the familiar manly voice. I heard it so often, but could never understand what it was. At the time, I told my mother that I don’t exactly know, but she didn’t want to listen. So, I just tucked it away and that was that. The voice then came more often, and then lessened. I ignored it sometimes and didn’t listen anymore. I thought it must be normal and everyone has something like this.
One morning, I woke up with wet pants and that went on for some time. I went to bed like this for a few more years, until the day I needed be cured. I will say more about this later. One day, as I often did, I woke up at night, or I thought I was awake. I was floating above the staircase and it was fun. It came more and more often that I was floating. I was 6 years old, said the angels. I didn’t know what it was, but it gave me joy. I travelled all around and was often in the universe. I looked at the planets. And then mornings when I woke up, I thought it must have all been a dream.
When I, like often, would wake up, I like over at the window. It was a slanted window. I couldn’t sleep at looked at the stars. Suddenly, something knocked on the window and then a voice said to me “continue sleeping”. I shrank down and pulled the blanket over my head. As always, I held my breath as long as I could, but fell asleep again.
On the next morning, I told everyone what had happened. I said, “There was something by the window last night, Mama. I was afraid last night”. My mother said, “Ah, what you heard was just a dream”. I said, “No, it was really loud”. But no one came to any conclusions, so I just set it aside.
The levitation became stronger. Today, I know it was not a dream. I saw the universe, planets, everything that at 6 years old I could not have known. There was already TV, but only four programs. (How it works when you leave your body I will explain more in later pages). I didn’t tell anyone; I just found it nice. I felt so light. I flew down the stairs and back up again. At some stage, the traveling ended, at the very least in my conscious state.
I was always very still and observed everything around me, my family and other people. Today, I can see a lot in other people and I know exactly when someone is having problems or is sick or is lying. But I won’t say anymore. First and foremost, I am here to help humanity. Most people are terrified, because I can always say what’s affecting them. Many don’t like this and often react really squeamishly. “How do you know that?” they said then...But most people won’t admit it because it’s too uncomfortable for them to talk about private things. But then I let it gradually come up and gave only inconspicuous tips without them noticing. For some people that I visit, I notice their mistakes, from which they should learn, including from the mediums. I made a mistake when I told them what they are doing wrong. That I will never do again because no one wanted to admit what they were doing wrong. As a result, there was always a big dispute that could not easily be resolved.
Due to my constant observations of my surroundings, I did not like a lot. I didn’t like how other children behaved, how my sister behaved und above all, I didn’t want this man in the house that was always loud and drunk.
I didn’t want to be like them; I was different than the others and I noticed this really early on. But I also wanted to belong. I was also not an angel as a child, incase someone may think that. I watched out for other kids, and also did many stupid things. I also set a whole forest on fire, because I played with fire. I had found some matches at the time and it happened with my friend. But the worst was that the man in the house worked for the fire department. I got spanked so hard with a glass fiber stick that I could not sit for days. I also hurt some other children. I also stole a lot, took things from people that I wanted to have. Today it hurts me, all that I’ve done, but thankfully everyone has forgiven me. That worked, too, said the angels. I said to God, that He should hold me accountable because a created a lot of problems. I didn’t know that God sees and hears everything. He only said, “I know, my son. It is part of the plan.” But it was so uncomfortable for me that God saw and heard everything that I had done over the years. Like everyone else, of course I had thoughts I didn’t want to say aloud.
When my mother went to work one evening, I got horribly panicked because the man came home drunk after work. I stayed only in my room the entire time. Hidden in the house, I again heard screams and decided to sneak down, while of course holding my breath again. Then I saw that the man had hit my sister in the head with a large pot that was full of soup and very hot. And this only because the soup had been a bit burnt. It was kept warm so that when the man came home, he could have some warm soup. I was terrified that I was sneaking up and shaking, unable to speak in fear. When one of my sisters asked what was happening, I couldn’t say anything out of fear. When one my sisters also was afraid, I took on her fear as well and it became doubled. My mother always learned about the things the man did when she was at work. On the next day they fought horribly over this situation, but the man said like usual that he was innocent and fought loudly against it.
A couple days later, the man came home drunk again and called everyone downstairs. Up to this point, we were only 5 children in the house. He said that we should all stand in a row and then he took some salt and uncooked reis and spread it on the floor. Then we should kneel without pants on it. He came directly from work and ate his food calmly and sometimes he laughed in between. This laugh was such a villainous laugh. I didn’t know what was going on with us, but we did it. We were all afraid of this man and just did what he said. How long it lasted I’m no longer sure. My mother told me of some things later, but not everything. Too much has happened that she can’t say without breaking into tears. I have refrained from asking up to today.
I can remember one situation really well where I tried to love the man. I wrote on a small piece of paper that I wish him a good night and that he has love. I thought maybe he also loved me as well. On the next day, he asked me what craziness was this and to let it go. I was so ashamed that I thought at the time I was guilty and was worthless so I became really unhappy about this and felt unloved by this man.
My friend that lived by us had a compass that I really wanted to have. I knew only of something like this from a pirate movie. From the basement I fetched darts that were just sitting around and exchanged them for the compass. The man saw that my friend was playing in the garden and it was a warm summer day. Everyone was in the garden. Even the man that was also of course drunk on this day. We had a visitor, so my uncle was there. The man wanted to play darts with my uncle. He retrieved the darts and pulled me by the arm into the basement. My uncle didn’t have the courage to do anything against it. The man grabbed an axe and put my hand on the work bench. He said, “Now I am going to cut off your hand.” I screamed so loud that I didn’t know what was happening anymore. All I know is that he locked me up in the boiler room all night without light.
When I got to school, I didn’t know what I should do there. I wanted to stay home and see if my mother was doing well. Although I was sent to school every day, most of the time I just ran right back home. I began saying more and more often that I was sick just to stay home. So, it happened that I had to repeat a few classes because I had missed so much on the days I wasn’t there.
One evening when the man came home drunk again, he was again loud. I crept downstairs with a pounding heart and saw how terribly my mother was beaten to the point that she was laying unconscious on the floor. I don’t know anymore how long she was laying there or what the man would do. I was in too much shock to think about it. So, I crept back upstairs and hid in my bed. I could only think: I hope Mama is still alive, I hope Mama is still alive. What happened next, unfortunately I don’t know anymore.
Then it came time for Christmas and I was 12 years old. I was going around the city in a bus to buy presents for my mother and the man. I didn’t have much money and with about 10 German marks, I was still able to find something for everyone. I even had a bit leftover so I bought myself some gummy bears. But then I missed the bus back so I thought, ok, I will go to Kalkberg in Lünerberg, where there is also a station. Since I had a bit of time, I hiked up Kalkberg because I like it so much on top. When I was on top, I noticed that from both in front and behind me, a group of adolescents was coming toward me. I wanted to run back down, but they stood in my way. They took everything that I had. I was afraid and they pushed me around and took everything from my bag. They even took my gummy bears and ate them. Finally, one of them said “Let’s get going,” and so they all left. So, I quickly went down the mountain and to the street where I saw the man that lived with us sitting on a moped completely drunk. I immediately turned around so that he didn’t see me because they would’ve made things even worse. Whenever something happened with one of us children, then he got even more annoyed. We shouldn’t have gone then, it was always said. But the thought of what happened on the mountain flashed through my mind. Whatever awaited me at home was even worse. This fear of going home, this feeling, my mother is at work so I have to ring the doorbell. I rang the doorbell and he opened the door and said nothing. I quickly went upstairs, without eating, up to my sister because it was better there. We were always flustered when he had drunken something.
Months later I had to go with my twin sister to a treatment center because I was too thin. I should have said goodbye to this man, but I was too afraid. My mother grabbed my arm, but I resisted with all my strength. “Mathias,” said my mother, “why won’t you say goodbye to him?”.
“Because I don’t want to, I won’t!” I screamed out of panic. I didn’t want to go to this man and was afraid of even being near him. I ran up to my room. My sister came inside. “Why won’t you say goodbye?” she asked me.
“Because” I said, “I just don’t want to.” It was the evening and we went to bed. On the next morning, we were picked up and brought to the bus station where a woman that we didn’t know accompanied us.
At the treatment center the terror continued. I wet myself on the first night in bed. As a punishment, I had to sit in the in front of the main entrance of the larger building. I didn’t sleep the entire night out of fear and after that I never wet the bed again.
What I never properly learned in school was writing. I can write, but I often mix up the words or I don’t know what should be capital or lowercase. I had simply missed too much and there was no one at the time that paid attention to it. Even to this day, it’s very embarrassing to me that I still don’t know the proper way to write things and how to really express them. I also mix up words when I speak. Earlier on, I had a girlfriend that was really great to me and she paid attention to this and always helped to improve me. She was really educated and studied at the time. The fact that she improved my, I really liked and so I became increasingly better. Some advised me to go to night school. But the worst thing about that is I couldn’t hang on to the words and forgot them by the next day. As a child, I often said nothing, also at school, because I couldn’t properly complete my sentences. Always when I noticed that someone was listening to me, I started stuttering for all I was worth. So, I often just gladly sunk into the floor because it was so embarrassing. Sometimes people would laugh or just turn away. My friends often laughed about me even though often I knew more than them. Only because I stuttered and mixed up my words did they not take me seriously. I was very withdrawn about it and didn’t say anything due to the stuttering.
However, there were good friends when I was growing up. We chatted a lot and stuck together when one of us had a difficult situation. Most of the time, I stayed together from the morning to the evening with them; the main thing was that I wasn’t at home. We often went camping and talked about jobs that we would like to do when we’re older, but no one had a big imagination. We were between the ages of 14, 15, and 16. That was the age when we started to smoke and have a beer occasionally.
I had a dream job, and had done some internships at different companies but when I went to turn in the report, I never went. I always lied that I did not like it here. I would have gladly done something else at the time, but I couldn’t write properly.
My First Contact with Universal Energy
Slowly I grew up and reached the age of 17 years old. My sisters had all moved out so that I had the upper floor with two rooms to myself. The man in the house I still basically didn’t speak to, but I was still afraid of him. He had given up drinking and was increasingly calmer, but still got stirred up by little things.
My stuttering got even worse. When the man asked me something, it didn’t work because I couldn’t get anything out. I only flinched when I was approached. I didn’t know at the time that the stuttering was more of a childhood issue and had been over for years. One day it suddenly went away. I think because I decided to move away from this evil man for good. Since I was 23 years old, I never saw him again. He often had to go to a treatment center due to his back. The last time he was there, he remained there. He had met someone there and was stepping out on my mother. I caught him talking on the phone and my mother had been to my grandma's house that night and stayed there. When she got back, I asked her why this man wasn’t with me. I said he should go with her to grandma’s. She said this time he didn’t want to go. But here there isn’t anything either, I said. One Sunday, he came back and that’s when I heard the phone call with another woman. Oh man, then I had something to say. Everything came out and a fight followed. The man was nicer, but I still couldn’t really talk to him. In the meantime, I was 18 years old and was doing my own thing to avoid any possible contact with this man. I said, “Bye, maybe we will see each other again later.” But I knew that I would never see him again because I didn’t want to. The angels said that I had to leave but honestly, from the bottom of my heart, only in this way do healing and forgiveness arise for both sides.
I began a training as a painter and lacquerer. The training lasted three years. I graduated and work in this job for 12 years until I became allergic to the lacquer. Then I did a retraining, which was determined by the employment office. I had to do all the driving licenses and changed my job to the bus driver.
I had a girlfriend that I loved very much at the time and who I was with for 17 years, 12 of them married.
I don’t want to go into to much detail and will make it short…
I lived in a how in a village near Lüneberg and thought about building a house because this house was very moldy and I had children. I was renting the house. We had gotten married and had 2 children. So finally, I started to build once I completed all the financial aspects with the bank. I built everything alone in order to save money and in the meantime, my wife had our third child. Although I worked as a bus driver in shifts, I worked either in the mornings or afternoons on the house. In this time that I was building the house, my marriage gradually broke down. At first, I didn’t know why but some of the neighbors told me some things that I would not like to go into. When I finished the house, we moved in and already after half a year, the nightmare started again. A fight started which last for 12 years even after the divorce. Up to this day, I still don’t really understand why. In any case, I didn’t have a lot of money which is not uncommon for an average earner in a divorce with three children. After the divorce, I became sicker and sicker. I missed my children a lot and fought and fought to see them. When they were there, I often had to send them back after a few days, which hurt my soul, but I didn’t have enough money for food. I took on other small jobs that I got partially from friends. Some took advantage of my distress.